My First Time

We all have a story, and whether or not we will admit it, we remember.  Our first time.  I'm not talking about sex, that's for someone else to write about.  I am talking about the first time that someone made you feel fat.  (Sorry for using the 'f' word)  Today at work I shared my first time story...

...I remember so vividly the first time it happened.  I was new to Ely.  My family had moved a couple months into the school year, which seemed to make life a little harder.  It was my first day and it was lunch time.  I was sitting with a few kids I had just met when this boy (who is still very much a boy today-loser...) came up to me.  He asked if I knew what he was holding in his hand.  It was yogurt.  He decided to go through and tell me about the calories and nutritional values.  He asked, with the cockiest of cocky grins, "Do you know what those are?"  He continued, "If you don't, just look at my body.  That's everything you need to know."  My mind was racing.  Never before had this happened to me.  I thought I was fine.  I thought that I looked fine and that I was beautiful and smart.  I responded with the first thing that came to my mind, "Do you know what this is?  (Held up my middle finger.)  If you don't, just look at your face.  That's all you need to know."  With a red face he walked away and took the yogurt with him.  

I don't know what made me feel worse: being made fun of because of my weight or giving him the bird.  (Although I did get some satisfaction out of it.)  I went home and cried.  And cried a little more.  When I was through with what I felt was my mid-life crisis, I made a decision- I was never ever going to allow someone to make me feel like that again.  And they haven't.   

No one enjoys their first time, but they always remember it.  We remember the hurt, the aching, and how it made us feel about ourselves.  I say give those feelings the bird!  Instead say out loud, 

"I AM BEAUTIFUL!  I AM SMART!  I AM STRONG!"   

And don't let anyone, including yourself, make you feel otherwise!  

I love myself now.  Because I do, I will love myself even more in the future.  

-Tiffany

P.S.  I would enjoy hearing about your first time.  Email, comment, or message me through Facebook.